Ask a Stoner: Which Country Would Win a Weed Olympics?

Dear Stoner: If we were having a Weed Olympics, which country would win?
Bud Bookie

Dear Bookie: Smoke-offs would absolutely be part of Commissioner Fuego’s Cannalympics — essentially a hybrid of a cannabis cup and a beerfest — along with other competitions that don’t involve over-consumption, like edible cook-offs, growing competitions, joint-rolling and extraction.

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A lot of America is big and unnecessary, and that extends to cannabis consumption.
Jacqueline Collins
Call me myopic, but I think America would probably win the overall medal count. Everything we do is big and unnecessary, and that extends to cannabis production, infused products and consumption. But don’t count out a couple of dark horses in Europe and North Africa: Amsterdam, Prague and Barcelona are all strong contenders, and the classic hash-infused edibles from Morocco deserve more credit than they get. And, as in track and field, Jamaica would punch above its weight class, too. China was recently touted as the birthplace of pot cultivation, but the country’s drug laws would preclude any chances of winning — as would most of Asia’s, sadly.

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego