Broncos Owe Taylor Swift an Apology After Performance Against Chiefs

The eyes of the sporting nation were on your Denver Broncos during the October 12 broadcast of Thursday Night Football that pitted the team against the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs — but only because pop leviathan Taylor Swift shared the stadium with them. And the morning after, Tay Tay is probably still trying to get the images out of her head.

No, we're not talking about when tight end Travis Kelce, her paramour of the moment, looked as if he retweaked his injured ankle (he was fine) while gutting the Broncos' defense like a prime halibut; he wound up with nine catches for 124 yards. We're referring to the sorry effort Denver offered en route to a paralyzingly dull 19-8 loss to KC. Because whether you're a Swiftie or not, there's no denying that Taylor knows the difference between a good and bad performance — and having to sit through three hours or so of the Broncos submitting another stinker had to be as excruciating for her as it was for the rest of us.

Denver's disgusting impersonation of a decent squad — something else Swift understands very well — was about as predictable as the bump in young female eyeballs Amazon Prime undoubtedly registered last night. Broncos loyalists hoped that this season would offer quarterback Russell Wilson a shot at redemption after he put a dent in his National Football League Hall of Fame chances during his first putrid year in Denver. But after the Men of Orange bowed to the lowly Las Vegas Raiders to open the season, expectations have continued to sink to the point where some boosters were pissed about an anomalous victory over the Chicago Bears because it presumably lowered the franchise's odds of securing the services of USC quarterback Caleb Williams, the presumed number-one pick in the next NFL draft.
Landing Williams remains a long shot given how many other lousy teams are racing for the barrel's bottom; note that the Carolina Panthers are winless, and the New England Patriots, New York Giants, Arizona Cardinals, Minnesota Vikings and Bears have managed just one win as well. But after surrendering a shocking seventy points to the Miami Dolphins a few weeks back, the Broncos are still professional football's undisputed laughingstock — and falling flat against the Chiefs did nothing to change that.

Prior to kickoff, veteran play-by-play announcer Al Michaels vowed not to let the matchup turn into the Swift show, and he didn't hide his grumpiness every time her visage was splashed on screens tiny and giant. Even so, these reactions were preferable to partner Kirk Herbstreit's sweaty efforts to praise the Broncos' defense and its coordinator, the miraculously still employed Vance Joseph, for keeping the game close. The Chiefs actually deserve that credit. Rather than taking Denver seriously, Patrick Mahomes and company appeared to view the contest as the equivalent of a scrimmage during which they could practice the occasional trick play (a fake field-goal attempt/tush push didn't work) without having to worry about the prospect of losing or even breaking more than a perfunctory sweat.

For their part, the Broncos never seemed to believe they could secure a W against an outfit that had bested them fifteen times in a row. Their initial drive at least included a couple of first downs before sputtering out. But by the third quarter, Wilson had barely netted more than fifty yards, and the sole Denver offensive highlight — an impressive touchdown grab by Courtland Sutton during the fourth stanza — was the definition of too little, too late. Any sentient being knew that the Chiefs would respond by taking the ball down the field with ease and put matters out of reach, and that's precisely what happened. Harrison Butker's fourth field goal of the night effectively finished off the Broncos, reducing running back Samaje Perine's subsequent fumble to mere salt in the wound.

Afterward, some Broncos fans took to the Service Formerly Known as Twitter to once again demand that egomaniacal head coach Sean Payton be fired — which isn't going to happen. But plenty of others have already lost the will to give a damn...with another eleven games to go.

Thank goodness for Taylor, whose presence was celebrated, mourned or used as a punchline in oodles of posts more entertaining than the event she attended. Count down our picks for the twenty most memorable takes to see what we mean:

Number 20:

Taylor Swift and the Swifties have to be so confused watching NFL games. PSA this is just what happens to Broncos and sadly mostThursday night games. Sorry Amazon pic.twitter.com/JedGGGKlpu

— Regan (@theFunkyton) October 13, 2023

Number 19:

sure Al Michaels and & Kirk Herbstreit are getting paid a shitload, but the energy thats coming through is worse than that of Russell Wilson for the #Broncos, thats how awful these #ThursdayNightFootball games & broadcasts are. Even #Chiefs & Taylor Swift can't save this disaster

— Inkog (@Inkog1) October 13, 2023

Number 18:

Jokes on you Al the Broncos are the most unwatchable shit ever created

Give it about a quarter and you'll be BEGGING for a Taylor Swift cutaway https://t.co/WRfllzWE4w

— Referees are not people (@Jakeda510) October 12, 2023

Number 17:

This Denver vs KC game has me wondering…how do we get more Taylor Swift on TV when the Broncos are on offense? This is down right painful

— Ryan (@TheRyRob24) October 13, 2023

Number 16:

Broncos are just happy to be here tonight get some of that gawd awful Taylor Swiftness exposure

— J Roy (@JRoy0414) October 13, 2023

Number 15:

Taylor Swift reacting to Travis Kelce receptions is 100000x more entertaining than anything the Broncos do on the field.

— MRE (@smkndrbbns) October 13, 2023

Number 14:

The worst part of all of this is that even Taylor Swift knows now that the Broncos are a joke

— Colby Mueller (@ColbyCMueller) October 13, 2023

Number 13:

It’s a shame that Taylor Swift has to watch the Broncos “play” football

— Kristin Mancuso (@kristin_mancuso) October 13, 2023

Number 12:

Good: Wife asked to turn on the “Taylor” game tonight which my fav team is playing in.

Bad: The Broncos are terrible at and she made fun of every bad play pic.twitter.com/TEVSMl3fnW

— Alex Wilker (@awilks22) October 13, 2023

Number 11:

Taylor jumping up & down & hugging everyone like her husband just stepped onto the dock after VE day every time Travey gets a catch is...laying it on a bit thick

Its the Broncos. They're terrible. #tnf

— Michael Hannigan (@Droooshbag) October 13, 2023

Number 10:

as a broncos fan, i’m so sorry taylor

— sophie 🪩 (@iknowswiftlet) October 13, 2023

Number 9:

Taylor Swift got more airtime than the broncos wr core and I don’t blame the broadcast.

— No_look_Jok (@nolookjok) October 13, 2023

Number 8:

To anyone complaining about the NFL/broadcast Taylor coverage tonight....it's the 1-4 Broncos *hopefully no jinx*, but they're terrible, so of course they're going to mention/show her tonight

— maddie Eras Gillette 5/20 rain alum (@MadK089) October 12, 2023

Number 7:

If the Chiefs are Taylor Swift, who are the Broncos? Someone who came 8th on a forgettable season of American Idol? This is awful.

— Richard Cohen (@RichardCohen1) October 13, 2023

Number 6:

show more taylor swift and less of this awful broncos offense

— Marcus (@Marcusg1k) October 13, 2023

Number 5:

Taylor Swift had more highlights than the entire Broncos team

— ⁶G!O (@GioSirSki) October 13, 2023

Number 4:

For all those who have been complaining about how much the networks have been showing Taylor Swift during fames, would you rather see MORE of this Broncos team?!

— Stevie (@Fastball_05) October 13, 2023

Number 3:

Someone wants more shots of Taylor cheering?

I asked my son if he wanted to watch this or the baseball game, he said it wasn't fair to the Broncos that they had to play the Chiefs and didn't want me to be sad so...

— Sam (@BannedHat) October 13, 2023

Number 2:

ugh no way some mid ass broncos players get to be in the same presence as taylor and i don’t. (should i buy tickets to the cheifs vs broncos game on the 29th even tho she prob won’t even be there?)

— kennedy (@tehekennedytehe) October 12, 2023

Number 1:

As a fan of the Broncos, I would like to personally apologize to Taylor Swift for the football she's going to witness this evening. https://t.co/tETQkOMWhU

— Terri Stewart (@stewartmgmtCO) October 13, 2023