John Elway -- you've picked the wrong Paige Green!

The other Paige Green in Gory Gory Hallelujah. Plenty of media types, including 9News sportscaster Drew Soicher, announced that the Paige Green whom Denver Broncos legend John Elway intends to marry boasts film credits such as Leave It!, Mercy for the Innocent and Ray of Darkness, a 2005 flick whose...

By Michael Roberts

October 1, 2008

What happens on the ground matters — Your support makes it possible.

We’re aiming to raise $17,000 by August 10, so we can deepen our reporting on the critical stories unfolding right now: grassroots protests, immigration, politics and more.

Contribute Now

Progress to goal

$17,000

$1,500

Audio By Carbonatix

[
          {
            "name": "GPT - Billboard - Slot Inline - Content - Labeled - No Desktop",
            "component": "23668565",
            "insertPoint": "2",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
          },{
            "name": "STN Player - Float - Mobile Only ",
            "component": "23853568",
            "insertPoint": "2",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
          },{
            "name": "Editor Picks",
            "component": "17242653",
            "insertPoint": "4",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
          },{
            "name": "Inline Links",
            "component": "18838239",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 8,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          },{
            "name": "GPT - 2x Rectangles Desktop, Tower on Mobile - Labeled",
            "component": "24956856",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 8,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
            "maxInsertions": 25 
          
          },{
            "name": "Inline Links",
            "component": "18838239",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 12,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          },{
            "name": "GPT - Leaderboard to Tower - Slot Auto-select - Labeled",
            "component": "17676724",
            "insertPoint": "8th",
            "startingPoint": 12,
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
            "maxInsertions": 25
          }
        ]

The other Paige Green in Gory Gory Hallelujah.

Plenty of media types, including 9News sportscaster Drew Soicher, announced that the Paige Green whom Denver Broncos legend John Elway intends to marry boasts film credits such as Leave It!, Mercy for the Innocent and Ray of Darkness, a 2005 flick whose tagline recommended "Die Before It's Too Late." (Like before watching the movie, presumably.) Unfortunately, the Rocky Mountain News' Penny Parker subsequently revealed that Elway's Green is a different Paige Green entirely -- one best known for being (shudder) a former Oakland Raiders cheerleader.

Fortunately, though, it's not too late for Big John to make a trade -- and in an effort to convince him to swap Greens, we offer the following trailer from another entry in the thespian Paige's filmography: the 2003 horror spoof Gory Gory Hallelujah. She appears at approximately the midpoint of the clip, playing a newlywed in the sack with her spouse. "I hope I didn't hurt you," her hubby says shyly. In response, she giggles and announces brightly, "Joshua -- I'm a whore!"

Clearly, the grass is Greener on her side of the fence. For proof, click "More" to watch the video. -- Michael Roberts

Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

A message from Michael Roberts: If you value independent journalism, please consider making a contribution to support our continued coverage of essential stories and to investigate issues that matter.

Support Today