Plenty of media types, including 9News sportscaster Drew Soicher, announced that the Paige Green whom Denver Broncos legend John Elway intends to marry boasts film credits such as Leave It!, Mercy for the Innocent and Ray of Darkness, a 2005 flick whose tagline recommended "Die Before It's Too Late." (Like before watching the movie, presumably.) Unfortunately, the Rocky Mountain News' Penny Parker subsequently revealed that Elway's Green is a different Paige Green entirely -- one best known for being (shudder) a former Oakland Raiders cheerleader.
Fortunately, though, it's not too late for Big John to make a trade -- and in an effort to convince him to swap Greens, we offer the following trailer from another entry in the thespian Paige's filmography: the 2003 horror spoof Gory Gory Hallelujah. She appears at approximately the midpoint of the clip, playing a newlywed in the sack with her spouse. "I hope I didn't hurt you," her hubby says shyly. In response, she giggles and announces brightly, "Joshua -- I'm a whore!"
Clearly, the grass is Greener on her side of the fence. For proof, click "More" to watch the video. -- Michael Roberts
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.