Plenty of media types, including 9News sportscaster Drew Soicher, announced that the Paige Green whom Denver Broncos legend John Elway intends to marry boasts film credits such as Leave It!, Mercy for the Innocent and Ray of Darkness, a 2005 flick whose tagline recommended "Die Before It's Too Late." (Like before watching the movie, presumably.) Unfortunately, the Rocky Mountain News' Penny Parker subsequently revealed that Elway's Green is a different Paige Green entirely -- one best known for being (shudder) a former Oakland Raiders cheerleader.

Fortunately, though, it's not too late for Big John to make a trade -- and in an effort to convince him to swap Greens, we offer the following trailer from another entry in the thespian Paige's filmography: the 2003 horror spoof Gory Gory Hallelujah. She appears at approximately the midpoint of the clip, playing a newlywed in the sack with her spouse. "I hope I didn't hurt you," her hubby says shyly. In response, she giggles and announces brightly, "Joshua -- I'm a whore!"

Clearly, the grass is Greener on her side of the fence. For proof, click "More" to watch the video. -- Michael Roberts

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