Calhoun: Wake-Up Call

Pot jokes: The Colorado Supreme Court declines to hear mine

The Colorado Supreme Court does not care about my definition of a caregiver.

This week, the court declined to consider the appeals court ruling that upheld the controversial conviction of Stacy Clendenin, a Longmont medical marijuana grower who was convicted of drug distribution because she did not qualify as a caregiver -- even though she gave pot to a patient, which seems like care to me. And that means the justices will not consider the argument I made in a column last fall, which was cited in attorney Rob Corry's motion.

As Corry told the court in his filing to have the appeals decision reconsidered:

Instead of upholding an arbitrary requirement akin to requiring a pharmaceutical manufacturer to personally meet or "do more" for every patient for whom they produce drugs, this Court should recognize and alleviate the significant confusion and harm this ruling will inflict upon people in this growing community, and should reiterate that cultivation and provision of medical marijuana to suffering patients, itself, is "significant" under the applicable constitutional definition. As the Denver Westword newspaper eloquently said when it analyzed the Court of Appeals opinion in this case, "After all, the pot's the point."

Having done me that honor, Corry wisely did not subject the justices to the rest of the column, a top ten list to determine if your caregiver really cares:

10) Your primary caregiver supplies you with the complete set of Cheech & Chong movies for your birthday.

9) You tell your mom you're going to meet with your primary caregiver because it sounds so much better than telling her you're going to score some pot with your dealer.

8) Your primary caregiver provides a quart of your favorite Ben & Jerry's along with your marijuana.

7) Your primary caregiver has attorney Rob Corry's number on speed dial.

6) Your primary caregiver doesn't keep you waiting two hours, unlike your primary physician.

5) Your primary caregiver's office/home comes equipped with the latest copy of High Times, not a six-month old copy of Time.

4) Your primary caregiver will watch paint dry with you.

3) Your primary caregiver always has a lighter.

2) Your primary caregiver will sit through every city council and legislative committee hearing on proposed medical marijuana regulations, to save you from any additional pain.

1) Your primary caregiver provides you with pot, which is really the point.

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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun