Dear Stoner: Will I Pass My Drug Test?

Dear Stoner: I have a drug test in a week and smoked weed ten days ago. I hadn’t smoked for a while before that. Will I be good? Should I be worried?
Prickly

Dear Prickly: It depends on what method the drug test uses to detect THC. If it’s a common urinalysis (piss test), you should be fine. According to the National Drug Court Institute, new or infrequent smokers are generally clean after four days, but that can change based on metabolism and smoking frequency. Still, you should chug water, pee a lot and sweat more until your test, just to be safe. But all you master cheefers out there thinking it’ll only take you a week to pass your piss test for a new job should think again: Everyday users usually have THC in their system for at least two months, but it can stick around for up to four months.

Hair tests, which involve shaving a patch of hair and testing it to see if any cannabinoids are in the follicles are more difficult to manipulate, since you can’t pee that away. However, first-time or extremely infrequent users rarely have THC in their follicles, and there are detoxification shampoos at head shops if you’re really desperate. Just make sure to follow the directions religiously, and use it on all patches of body hair.

Dear Stoner: What am I supposed to do with all of these pot bottles? When I bought off the street, I could use the same nug jar. Now my closet is about to overflow with them.
Mr. X

Dear Mr. X: Nobody’s saying you still can’t use your favorite nug jug! Mason jars keep buds fresher, so it’s probably a good idea to keep using a jar if it has a better seal than the bottles and bags that dispensaries use. Besides, the bottle problem might actually be better for the earth. After all, the plastic bags that street dealers use usually aren’t recyclable — while the pop-top bottles that most dispensaries use are, so dump them in your recycle bin or a public one.

Similar to the bins at King Soopers for collecting old grocery bags, dispensaries such as Good Chemistry and Terrapin Care Station have bins inside their dispensaries for recycling old bottles. If you have as many as you describe, maybe your store will give you a discount for all of those old bottles as a thank you for saving the shop money.

Have a question for our Stoner? E-mail [email protected] or call the potline at 303­-293­-2222.