House arrest isn't just for political prisoners, Pol Pot and Ponzi scheme artists anymore. In the last few years, many celebrities have had the pleasure of serving hard time in the comfort of their own cushy homes -- including Lindsay Lohan, who was placed under house arrest on June 17.
While punishment may not be synonymous to spending time in a mansion for most normal people, for the following celebrities not only is house arrest a joke, but it's a joke worth pushing in the face of thousands of U.S. citizens currently incarcerated for similar charges.
Lindsay Lohan: 120 days for stealing a necklace For stealing a $2,500 necklace (felony grand theft) after two DUIs, a drug charge and probation violations, a normal person would face time in jail, followed by years of probation. For Lohan, however, house arrest at her million-dollar home will suffice.
Not to be kept down by the man, Lohan kicked off her house arrest with a rooftop party and has since agreed to a $25,000 commercial deal (which included some $10,000 in extra goodies) for Beezid.com. The commercial was shot on her couch and lasts less than fifteen seconds. Living the hard life and learning from past mistakes, Lohan is truly suffering the consequences of her irresponsible actions. On a related note, how do you get paid $25,000 for this piece of crap?
Paris Hilton--40 days for violating probation Paris Hilton didn't take her house arrest with the quiet humility her judge may have expected. Within a day of being placed in her home, Hilton sent an assistant out of the house to film the crowd of people surrounding her estate. The assistant asked the crowd if they loved Hilton and prompted some to send her messages.
Aside from remaining connected to her fans, Paris also stayed connected to her Mrs. Beasley's cupcakes: The company delivered three dozen of their confectionary snacks to her home as a gift. Hilton also received an Edible Arrangement for herself and her dog.
Martha Stewart--5 months for insider trading Martha Stewart's house arrest was extended after the courts found out she was sneaking out to yoga classes and taking joy rides in her off-road vehicle around her 153-acre estate, marking possibly the first time any person ever violated their probation for the sake of getting centered and feeling the wind in their hair. The then 62-year-old convicted crafter referred to her house arrest as "hideous" and buckled down for the remainder of her torturous stay at the world's most tastefully decorated estate.Andy Dick--drug and battery charges
Aptly named, Dick has been in and out of trouble for years for drug and alcohol offenses, but more notably for a string of sexual-assault charges. While repeated sexual offenses would land any normal man in prison, Dick spends time at his house, with all of his friends, filming his own show,
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, available for viewing on Atom.com. That's correct. Dick is making money and maintaining his fame while under house arrest -- the punishment every perverted assaulter deserves.