The ten dumbest dinosaur movie taglines
T. Rex Encounter is opening at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science tomorrow, the new exhibit, which features robotic, interactive dinosaurs has got us rather excited. You can expect a full preview tomorrow morning, but while we're sitting on our hands in anticipation, we've been thinking a lot about dinosaurs -- like, to an unhealthy degree. As best we can tell, there isn't a tagline for the DMNS event, but while we've been digging into dino-research to keep ourselves occupied, we've found some amazing (awful) taglines attached to dinosaur movies. It's hard to make a dinosaur movie without a pun or a note about the age of dinosaurs apparently, but here are a few of our favorites.
10. "Four boys living the excitement every boy dreams about!..."
Journey to the Beginning of Time
Look, even as kids, nobody really wants to go back to a world of dinosaurs. At least, not a real one -- and if these four boys really wanted that, they deserved to get eaten by some type of dino-monster.
9. "Extinction is a thing of the past."
Sometimes, the best taglines are the most obvious. Extinction? That is a thing of the past! Oh! Like, the extinction part is in the past because it's not true anymore. Clever!
8. "Something has survived."
Jurassic Park: The Lost World
Something has survived? In the Jurassic Park universe? Oh goodness, what could it be? Hopefully it's a Ford Explorer!
7. "Created by nature... angered by man... fueled by forbidden herbs..."
A dinosaur fueled by weed -- so really, there couldn't be a better tagline here. Of course, we have no idea what man could possibly do to piss off a stoned dinosaur.
6. "How can science meet the menace of astral assassins?"
Well, if this poster is any indication, science can meet the menace of astral assassins by pitting them against dinosaurs. Which is probably how we'd still handle it.
5. "The biggest thing since time began!"
The Giant Behemoth
There are far too many uses of the word "thing" on these posters. We know you're talking about dinosaurs, so you might as well just admit it on the poster. The biggest "thing" since time began? Like, bigger than the sun? And the universe? Really?
4. "Enter an age of unknown terrors, pagan worship and virgin sacrifice..."
When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth
We want to see this movie now. It might be an idiotic tagline, but we seriously want to know how all these items work together to create a plot.
3."Back when you had to beat it before you could eat it"
The tagline pretty much sums up the movie, which we now assume is about Ringo Starr masturbating dinosaurs.
2. "The world's toughest cop is getting a brand new partner. And he's a real blast from the past!
Do you get it? He's a "blast from the past" because he's a dinosaur! In Converse and sweatpants!
1. "The Pre-historic and the pre-pubescent, together at last!"
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
Yikes. Even considering this is a Troma release, that tagline still kind of scares us.
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