Kicked out! Large chicken breasts and five other ridiculous bannings

There's no telling whether Al Stults Jr. was being straight or making a double entendre when he pointed at the chicken breasts and told a Safeway clerk he liked "the large ones," but one thing is sure: When he got 86'd out of said Safeway, the situation became ridiculous. And because here at Show and Tell we value absurdity above pretty much everything else, we took the opportunity to revisit five of our most favorite recent ridiculous bannings after the jump.

05. Beer truck driver gets banned from driving after crashing beer truck while drunk The headline pretty much says it all. David Smith only had to drive 12 miles to make his delivery, but he apparently couldn't wait until afterward to slug back six pints and two shots of -- get this -- Sambuca. Afterward, he (predictably) rear-ended another car and then tried to run for it -- except he was driving a huge, damaged beer truck and the cops easily tracked him down.
04. Real Housewives of New Jersey banned from country club after catfight After Danielle told Teresa not to call her "honey" at a benefit fashion show at the upscale North Jersey County Country Club, and Teresa asked her in return if "bitch" was better, a brawl ensued (in front of some 200 onlookers) that ended in the ripping out of Danielle's hair extensions by Ashley. Which makes for great TV, and it's even better when you consider that, aside from being television personalities, these are also real, actual people (hard to believe, it's true). Police were called, and Ashley got charged with assault.
03. Lady Gaga banned from the New York Yankees clubhouse after showing up unexpected and getting wasted The Lady never disappoints. A couple of months ago, she showed up to a game wearing a Yankees Jersey (and pretty much only a Yankees jersey) and "smooth talked" her way in, then got plastered on Jameson. Best of all, it happened outside the knowledge of the team's management -- she didn't get banned until they caught wind, which was well after it all went down.
02. Kylie Minogue's teddy bear banned from Facebook for appearing to have a boner Apparently clamping down on the depiction of genitals to the extent that it applies even to stuffed animals who happen to be near microphones, the anti-smut crusaders of Facebook yanked a photo of Kylie Minogue hugging a giant teddy bear a fan had given her. Facebook officials helpfully explained that they don't allow photos that contain nudity. Yeah but... sigh... whatever.
01. No soup for you Okay, this one is not just fictional -- it's not even recent. All the same, when we think of bans, we think of "no soup for you." And besides, in terms of beating out Facebook for the designation of most fascist ban, you'd have to be fictional. No real entity can compete.
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Jef Otte
Contact: Jef Otte