Despite working for a media outlet known for its up-to-date information on Denver’s restaurants and bars, I’m incredibly unoriginal when it comes to choosing new places to take women. Luckily for me, they rarely call back for a second date, so I don’t have to think of that many. The Source is usually my go-to, thanks to the charcuterie and sours at Crooked Stave, and I recently took a Tinder-ella there for what turned out to be another awkward night with someone I’ll probably never see again.
My date was scoring points with her knowledge of Crooked Stave’s brews and her offer to pay, but she really won me over on our way out. “Is that dispensary next door recreational?” she asked.
Whole Meds, at 3450 Brighton Boulevard, opened for recreational sales around six months ago, but I had yet to visit. We went inside for a pre-roll, but select eighths were on sale for less than $30, so I bought an eighth of Kosher Kush for $24.23 after tax.
Instead of smoking the Kosher, we shared a pre-roll on the walk back to her house, where she made it clear she had to work early in the morning. No worries — I had that bag of a heavy indica (80 percent dominant, to be exact) to lull me to sleep. Said to be blessed by a rabbi, Kosher Kush was originally called Jew’s Gold; commercialization deemed that too offensive, though, and the strain was given a new name without losing its skunky Hebrew heritage.
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The smell of Whole Meds’ cut couldn’t find its way out of a plastic bag, but breaking up one of the forest-green nugs brought out piney smells with strong hints of rubber. The eight or nine hairy buds in my bag had large pistils, were a little loose and had lackluster trichome coverage — a sign of suspect genetics and impatience during the growing process. Still, I had hopes that the earthy, rubbery funk would come through in flavor and sedate me for the night.
A Volcano bowl at 325 degrees didn’t provide much kick, even after multiple bags and upping the temperature. I put in the next bowl at 435 degrees, which is basically lighting it on fire and smoking it, and it hit me a little more heavily — unlike the flavor profiles, which were extremely dull. Bland, grassy flavors dominated my tongue, and the stronger hits weren’t worth the harshness of the high-temp vaper. My body felt a deep wave of relaxation, but that took almost a gram of flower and still didn’t deliver the knockout blow I expected.
Whole Meds claims that its Kosher Kush is the real deal, but the flavor and potency are seriously lacking in chutzpah. Props to any shop that sells eighths for less than $25, but I’ll pay for the pricier stuff next time.
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