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Pairing America's pastime with the government's least-favorite plant just seems right in 2018.EXPAND
Pairing America's pastime with the government's least-favorite plant just seems right in 2018.

Hard Hitters: Seven Strains to Help You Watch Baseball

Ahh, Opening Day in Denver. A land of happy drunks who are more excited to watch a good sunset than a good baseball team. Nothing against Nolan, Charlie and the boys on Blake Street, but this city will always be known more for Broncos, craft beer and blunts than peanuts and Cracker Jack. But who says they can't all get along?

Baseball is increasingly being passed over for basketball, soccer and dadgum video games by younger generations. These young shitheads wouldn't know a sac-fly from a sac-bunt, but tell them you have a sack of chronic, and they might be game to learn. To get your younger, woke friends (but still over 21) to shut the fuck up and enjoy the dusty, robotic classic that is baseball, give them a puff of one of these strains I've recently reviewed. They all hit for power.

Do-Si-Dos
Do-Si-Dos
Herbert Fuego

Do-Si-Dos
Like most Cookies strains, Do-Si-Dos has a high potency that can be debilitating to the overzealous or uninitiated, so toke wisely. If you’re prepared for relaxation, however, this is one smooth, comfortable ride. The potent indica has that face-melting quality we’ve grown to love with Cookies strains, but its calming effect on the body and lack of anxious side effects makes for a tasty stress reliever.

Alien Dream
Alien Dream
Herbert Fuego

Alien Dream
I expected a stiff punch to the chin from Alien Dream during my first foray, but was greeted by more of a gentle pull that allowed me to enjoy the visceral, giggly sensations of an indica without the fast nap. However, I decided to start smoking it earlier in the day next time, and was a bumbling fool after the second bong snapper. While the strain might lean closer to a fifty-fifty hybrid than genetics suggest, this Dream is still a cloudy force to be reckoned with.

Ogre
Ogre
Herbert Fuego

Ogre
No matter the cut, Ogre tends to be a calming strain, good for mental anguish and a sore body after a hard day’s work. Its high is forceful up front, filling the eyes and mind with a gust of creativity that can be hard to contain — but that brute inspiration only bears fruit if dosed responsibly. Smoke Ogre throughout the day, and its mean tendencies will surface. Reserve this for after-work projects and hobbies, or your concentration will be wiped.

Granola Funk
Granola Funk
Herbert Fuego

Granola Funk
Like most of the strains bred from Girl Scout Cookies, Granola Funk has a heavy THC presence (upwards of 30 percent in some cuts) that can be too much for the lightweight or inexperienced. Pairing it with Wookie, a cross of Lavender and Appalachia strains known for floral and citrus flavors, keeps the potency but enhances the Cookies flavor profile, creating a creamy, tart flavor that reminds users of their favorite childhood breakfast cereal as they zone out to whatever’s on the radio.

Opium
Opium
Herbert Fuego

Opium
Given its calming and sedating qualities, Opium's name is well deserved. The high is soothing for the body and mind, relieving stress, pressures and pain — or making you forget about them, at the very least. Although heavily used for medical purposes, Opium is also great for a night in, as its relaxing and visual effects keep the senses stimulated for a good amount of time before you slip into the inevitable doze.

Cactus Breath
Cactus Breath
Herbert Fuego

Cactus Breath
Most breeders and dealers label Cactus Breath an indica because of its mind-numbing genetics, garnering expectations of visual, spacey effects that could hurt the strain’s popularity. The high, though, is actually much closer to the middle, sending euphoric, hazy streams of contentment flowing through your mind for a couple of hours before the inevitable comedown. The bliss and lack of concentration can make users more keen on visceral feelings and less aware of social norms, so be aware if consuming before going out.

Denver Maple
Denver Maple
Herbert Fuego

Denver Maple
Although it’s an indica, Denver Maple’s high is much thinner than molasses, with uplifting, creative effects at the beginning. The calm, elated effects can be deceiving, though, so don’t spark three bowls in a row, or paranoia can set in. This daytime indica is good for pain and stress, relieving tensions with virtually no crash. Being the flagship strain of Ballpark Holistic Dispensary doesn't hurt, either.

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