Hard Hitters: Eight Strains to Help You Watch Baseball

Nothing against the boys on Blake Street, but this city will always be known more for Broncos, craft beer and blunts than peanuts and Cracker Jack. But who says they can't all get along?

Baseball is increasingly being passed over for basketball, soccer and dadgum video games by younger generations. These young shitheads wouldn't know a sac fly from a sac bunt, but tell them you have a sack of chronic, and they might be game to learn. To get your younger (but still over 21) friends to shut the fuck up and enjoy the dusty, robotic classic that is baseball, give them a puff of one of these strains we've reviewed. They all hit for power.

Party Animal
Don't expect Party Animal to cure introverts. Still, even if the energy boost and desire to mingle is a bit overstated by dispensaries, the high is more than capable of keeping me upright. My body feels soothed without sedation — a rare quality with cannabis — and the mental effects are curious and attentive. The munchies and aftereffects are relatively strong, however, and will leave most users drained by day's end if more than one or two hits are taken.

Chem #4
Although sedating, Chem #4's physical effects take a while to sink in, with the high's relaxation slow-cooking my brain before slowly oozing down the rest of my body. My curiosity is always initially stoked after bouts with Chem #4, but my focus and intellect are way too burnt to get far with it. Throw on a stupid movie, plug in the Nintendo, or try and fail to read a book under a tree. You'll be surprised at how fulfilling it is.

Sudz
Although the high makes focusing difficult at times, Sudz is prime for daytime. My mood instantly rises, my curiosity and sociability improve, and my willingness to try new things doesn't cease. Distractions come by the dozen, though, so be prepared to start a few unfinished projects or lose your train of thought mid-sentence. The sustained euphoria and blind interest fit both indoors and outdoors, but be careful about smoking Sudz before bedtime. Without distractions or stimulation, the active high often takes my brain down uncomfortable memory lane.

Peach Maraschino
This byrid of Cherry Punch and Peach Crescendo can lean on the physically relaxing side, but I find the effects creative, joyful and focus-friendly. Although munchies do hit impressively hard, the yawning won't come for a couple of hours. The high is well suited for seat in front of the game, in person or on TV, with a huge plate of nachos.

A5 Wagyu
Just like the need, a little A5 Wagyu goes a long way. I don't need a full bong rip to visit new dimensions, and that's barely hyperbole. This is a visual, almost psychedelic high that starts in the brain and works downward. While it leaves enough energy for something, I'm usually too stoned to know what that something might be before inevitably turning into dust on my couch. May as well watch baseball and let the announcer's smooth, generic voice lull you to sleep.

Oreoz
My first bowl of Oreoz felt like a dab, and my eighth lasted a few days longer than usual. Such power can knock anyone out, but taking it slower with Oreoz made me more calm than tired. Smoking one bowl over the course of 25 minutes after work and exercise kept me loose and free of stress without draining my wit, and if I wanted to fall asleep early, two or three bowls always did the trick. Oreoz's potency almost guarantees a trip to the moon or couch on your first try, but treating the strain more like hash makes the journey more manageable.

Blue Cheese
A small amount of users report more of an uplifted and creative experience, but virtually no one feels more energy after smoking Blue Cheese. My nerves and mental stress are calmed minutes into a session, and the muscle relaxation and hunger hit shortly after. I've stayed awake through Blue Cheese highs, but am rarely better because of it, so give into the nap when it comes. The flavor isn't as creamy as the first cheesy wave that hits your nose, but it still packs a funky punch, effectively cutting into the sweet berry flavors. Although spicy, earthy notes take a back seat in the smell, they're more assertive on the tastebuds.

Do-Si-Dos
Like most Cookies strains, Do-Si-Dos has a high potency that can be debilitating to the overzealous or uninitiated, so toke wisely. If you’re prepared for relaxation, however, this is one smooth, comfortable ride. The potent indica has that face-melting quality we’ve grown to love with Cookies strains, but its calming effect on the body and lack of anxious side effects makes for a tasty stress reliever.