Photos: Top ten signs a cold snap has lasted too long

Today, we should finally start getting out of the deep freeze: The high temperature is expected to be in the twenties, which sounds downright steamy compared to the -15 degrees of a few days ago. Still, the unseasonably low temps have stuck around for the better part of a week,...

By Michael Roberts

December 9, 2013

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Today, we should finally start getting out of the deep freeze: The high temperature is expected to be in the twenties, which sounds downright steamy compared to the -15 degrees of a few days ago. Still, the unseasonably low temps have stuck around for the better part of a week, and we've been seeing unmistakable indications that the cold stretch has overstayed its welcome. Have you noticed them, too? Look below to check out our top ten signs a cold snap has lasted too long. Number 10: You've got a constant wet spot on the front of your shirt from your beard defrosting. Number 9: You watch the entire run of Breaking Bad in three days, then decide to start it again from the beginning. Continue to keep counting down the top ten ways to prove a cold wave has gone on for too long. Number 8: You've been wearing your ugly Christmas sweaters for reasons that have nothing to do with irony. Number 7: Your dog would rather pop than go outside to take a leak. Continue to keep counting down the top ten ways to prove a cold wave has gone on for too long. Number 6: You've been seeing as much of your nipples with your shirt on as with your shirt off. Number 5: You've been living on year-old Cheetos rather than braving the cold to buy more food. Continue to keep counting down the top ten ways to prove a cold wave has gone on for too long. Number 4: You pray before trying to start your car. Number 3: You've been going out so much with knit caps on that your hair looks like a fright wig. Continue to keep counting down the top ten ways to prove a cold wave has gone on for too long. Number 2: You've been wearing so many layers that your laundry has become a deadly enemy. Number 1: That positive pregnancy test two weeks from now.

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

Contact: Michael Roberts

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