Urban Dictionary doesn't just offer definitions of terms like "penalty shotgun" and "MERL" -- both featured in our post dedicated to UD phrases inspired by CU-Boulder. It's also a place where site visitors define plenty of other things, including Colorado cities -- sometimes positively, but often in alternately hilarious and insane fashion. To see what we mean, check out the following photo-illustrated examples -- one nice definition and one nasty one for five places: Boulder, Greeley, Vail, Grand Junction and Denver. Which is closest to the truth? Decide for yourself below. Boulder: The Nice Definition
Boulder has recently been named the healthiest city in the United States of America. This is because the residents of Boulder, CO realize how lucky they are to be able-bodied humans and take advantage of their youth. Boulder is located at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, giving the students a breath-taking view of the famous flatirons. The University of Colorado at Boulder is known for its prestigious academics and world-famous professors. The students at CU are also well-known for their activism. CU Boulder is the most green college campus in the United States, therefore making this world a better place to live in.
To outsiders (mostly pissed-off Republicans), Boulder appears to be a 'hippie infested' city. It is more important to look at the facts: While the greater population of Boulder regularly smokes marijuana, they are still the most fit and sane people in the US.
Boulder, CO could possibly be the best college campus on the west side of the Mississippi River.
Also, it is important to remember that the University of Colorado at Boulder is the most difficult public college to be accepted into in the state of Colorado. So, when someone disses this beautiful city, it is likely that they were rejected from the University and ended up at CSU or UNC.
Person 1: What's one thing that CU and CSU students have in common?
Person 2: What?
Person 1: They all got accepted to CSU.
Boulder: The Nasty Definition
A very... unique town in Colorado. Population consists of Left-wingers, weird hippies, Buddhists, old people and hobos. It is an unwritten law in Boulder that you must never eat anything processed, only things from the earth. Another rule is that you must be as bizarre looking as possible. Oh yeah, the University of Colorado's there too. I went to Boulder and found a hobo who had locked himself in a dumpster.
a nice town with a lot of mexicans on the east side and big houses on the west side; 2 well known gangs surenos and nortenos
high schools: greeley central emo greeley west -- preppy northridge -- gangsta
john: have you been to greeley
dale: yeah it was a nice town from what i saw
Greeley: The Nasty Definition
Town in Colorado. Curiously, or coincidentally, the town smells like cow shit, as do most inhabitants....
...The only two decent things about this place are:
1 - Ice Skating Rink (Now a drug peddling location)
2 - Lots of Cow Shit = Lots of Magic Mushrooms....
The best place to snowboard in Colorado. No...take that back...the best in the world. Vail has a superpipe and seven back bowls.
Vail: The Nasty Definition
Rest stop on I-70 that fronts as a ski resort and really just wishes to be as cool as Aspen. I'm driving through Vail on my way to Aspen.
A small town in Western Colorado. Yes, it is the meth capital of the United States. The people are very nice. Located along the Colorado River by the largest flat-top mountain in the world. Also close to Fruita and Palisade.
Person 1: Hey, you're moving to Grand Junction?
Person 2: Yep. We visited it last month. It was beautiful, and the people were so nice and very welcoming.
Grand Junction: The Nasty Definition
The biggest town between Denver and Salt lake which produces the most meth in the US. Everyone who live here has AIDS from using dirty needles. Only poor people live here. Orchard Mesa and Clifton are the ghetto and meth-iest of all over. Move here for cheap drugs. If you were top ask a five year old, in Grand Junction, "Can I have some meth?" they'd be to bumped up to understand you.
Why Denver is the greatest city in the world....
receives 300 days of sunshine a year, is the nation's most highly educated city with the highest percentage of high school and college graduates, brews more BEER than any other American city, has the largest city park system in the nation, is the "Baby Boomer" capital of America, is the 20th in the U.S. in population, but has the 10th largest downtown, has the nation's second largest performing arts center, citizens contribute more public funding for the arts per capita than any other U.S. city, has the thinnest residents of any U.S. city and according to a federal study, really is a mile high...
Do you want to go to the great city of Denver?
Denver: The Nasty Definition
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One of the most overrated cities in this country. Home of the Columbine shootings, John Ramsey killing, multiple church shootings, Ludlow massacre, etc. due to all the sickos that live in Colorado. The suicide rate is twice as high as the national average for a reason. Denver itself only boasts a population of 500,000, while the suburbs have more than 2,000,000. Most of the suburbs are filled with white, countrywood morons who don't know the definition of passing in the left lane. The people are extremely clicky and act like they are better than you. Don't tell anyone that you are from another state, or else feel resented. The city itself is completely overpriced, with bums begging for change on every corner. Downtown itself is nice, when compared to shitholes like Kansas City or Detroit, but otherwise it's full of snobs and assholes. The women are ugly as hell and think they are god's gift on earth. The city is completely dead every night, except when the Broncos win a game or the Rockies make the playoffs. Lodo is another gentrified neighborhood filled with yuppies and guppies needing a sense of direction. The rest of the city is full of people working for 8 dollars an hour while living with 5 roommates and hitting the bong every night.The mountain cities (Aspen, Vail, Breckenridge, etc.) is the real Colorado. Otherwise, have fun in Denver, where the cowtown mentality still exists. The kids in Denver are usually trying to act hard after moving from a bigger shithole state...
More from our Lists & Weirdness archive: "Photos: Top ten Urban Dictionary words inspired by CU-Boulder."