Top 10 Reasons to Hate the Carolina Panthers
Editor's note: Fans of the Arizona Cardinals had a head start on Broncos boosters when it comes to hating on the Carolina Panthers.
Before Cam Newton and his crew played the Cards in the NFC championship game on January 24, Benjamin Leatherman of the Phoenix New Times, one of our sister papers, assembled a list of ten reasons to hate the Carolina Panthers. And his takes definitely haven't reached their expiration date, though we have a feeling that Von Miller won't be fond of his views about dabbing. Colorado-connected Dog the Bounty Hunter may have a problem or two with his opinions as well.
Check out Leatherman's complete list below.
10. They're the NFL's biggest bandwagon team.
The Panthers attracted hordes of fair-weather fans (in the Carolinas and across the nation) with their league-best 15-1 regular-season record. Die-hard Panther fans hated these come-latelys, including one Panther Nation vet who wrote the following online: “Dear new Panther bandwagon fans...if you’ve ever worn a Steelers jersey to a Panthers game, we don't need ya. If you ever used the phrase Who Dat, fug off.” Don’t worry, we’re sure the newbies will all be away when the Cardinals upend your pussycats this weekend.
9. They ripped off the Boston Red Sox.
It has become tradition for Panthers fans to sing Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” at home. Y'all know, right, that another pro sports franchise already does that shit. Way to be original.
8. The Carolinas suck as a location on many fronts.
Sweltering humidity. Swarms of Insects. Bible-thumping politicians. There are so many reasons that you’d never want to live in either Carolina, including that the literacy rates are worse than ours, the barbecue is overrated, creationism is regularly taught in schools, and rednecks and junkies are everywhere. (Don't even get us started on the Confederate-flag thing.)
7. The Panthers' owner is a sourpuss.
If Newt Gingrich and Grumpy Cat were to have a kid, he'd look exactly like perpetually dour Panthers czar Jerry Richardson. If you need a few more reasons to hate the multimillionaire (whom Rolling Stone cited as one of the "worst owners in sports"), Richardson made his fortune shilling greasy swill via the Hardee’s chain and reportedly was a jerk while negotiating the most recent collective-bargaining agreement with NFL players. Plus, he pulled off the worst rendition of the “dabbing” dance we’ve ever seen. On that subject…
6. The whole dabbing thing is freakin' stupid.
The dabbing dance fad that Carolina quarterback Cam Newton has popularized among his teammates and throughout the Carolinas is just flat-out ridiculous. Seriously, y’all look like you’re trying to stifle a sneeze. Or even shield your eyes, which is what we wanna do when senior citizens, fat rednecks, or even Panthers head coach Ron Rivera start dabbing.