Coloradon't: Ten Things You Should Never Do in Colorado

The Urban Dictionary defines "Coloradon't" as meaning "Douchey things you shouldn't do in Colorado," and offers the following exchange as an example: Trent: Hey, lets get our Akon bumpin' and get a natty ice sesh goin on a mountain somewhere. Brock: Hella word! (Any self respecting individual): Shut the fuck...

By Michael Roberts

January 16, 2015

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The Urban Dictionary defines "Coloradon't" as meaning "Douchey things you shouldn't do in Colorado," and offers the following exchange as an example:

Trent: Hey, lets get our Akon bumpin' and get a natty ice sesh goin on a mountain somewhere.

Brock: Hella word!

(Any self respecting individual): Shut the fuck up. Coloradon't you dare do that in my state.

Here are ten more things to which Coloradans should say: Coloradon't!

Number 10: Coloradon't.... ...bitch about it being too cold one day and then complain about it being too hot the next. Number 9: Coloradon't.... ...start honking in an I-70 traffic jam when everyone else is stuck, too. Continue for more Coloradon't thinks you should never do in Colorado. Number 8: Coloradon't.... ...call people fitness Nazis while sitting on the couch eating Funions. Number 7: Coloradon't.... ...make someone's strongest memory of a Red Rocks concert you puking on them. Continue for more Coloradon't thinks you should never do in Colorado. Number 6: Coloradon't.... ...order a burrito without green chile. Number 5: Coloradon't.... ...be surprised when your license plate gets a lot of attention as you cross the state line. Continue for more Coloradon't thinks you should never do in Colorado. Number 4: Coloradon't.... ...use a shortcut when you can take the scenic route. Number 3: Coloradon't.... ...buy national when you can buy local. Continue for more Coloradon't thinks you should never do in Colorado. Number 2: Coloradon't.... ...Bogart that joint. Number 1: Coloradon't.... ...let anyone convince you there's a better state than Colorado.

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

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