Marijuana Strain Reviews

Why Colorado Tokers Love Garlic Juice

Garlic strains carry complexities most others don’t.
Garlic strains carry complexities most others don’t. Herbert Fuego

There's only one rule in my kitchen: Whatever amount of garlic a recipe calls for, double it. I don't care if that makes my pores sweat low tide or my breath turn into an offensive odor cannon — garlic is the best. Heave it on my pasta, throw it in my salsa, dump it in my eggs. Roast them sonofabitches whole in the oven and I'll pop garlic cloves like candy. But juice? Now you've gone too far.

While the thought of drinking garlic juice makes my lower intestine quiver, I'm willing to give the weed strain Garlic Juice a shot. Romps with Garlic Breath and GMO (also known as Garlic Cookies) have proven that the word "garlic" in a strain's title doesn't necessarily mean an explosion of herbal, peppery flavors, neither of which I'm huge on. And Garlic Juice comes from Oni Seed Co., popular for breeding trichome-heavy strains like Papaya Cake and Tropicana Cookies; for this lesser-known entry to the Garlic family, Oni mixed Papaya and GMO. Since it came from a trusted source, seeing if the juice was worth the squeeze seemed a low-risk proposition.

Of every possible cannabis smell, spicy characteristics are my least favorite. I'm not talking about a little zesty citrus rind or juniper — more like peppercorns and cloves. At first Garlic Juice seemed like another spicy meatball that I didn't want to finish, full of chalky, zesty aromas reminding me of early trials with Hazes. Breaking apart the dense, lime-green buds showcased more resinous, tropical aspects than popping the bottle open implied, however, and those balancing aspects were noticed even more in the flavor.

Despite not packing the veiny, quick aggression of other Oni strains, Garlic Juice's relaxing, befuddling effects can turn a wake-and-bake into a slacker's day off — but those same qualities have been making my late nights incredibly peaceful recently. Does that make the juice worth the squeeze? Not for my mouth, but that needs to take a back seat anyway.

Looks: Garlic Juice isn't known for growing particularly tall, but the plant's buds like to stay cone-shaped or foxtailed, with compact calyxes and a glowing, bright-green color. As with all Oni strains, expect to see a heavy coat of trichomes, even if it's not as thick as Papaya Cake's.

Smell: Zesty, herbal and in your face, Garlic Juice smells like an empty produce cabinet before your nostrils calm down and notice timid notes of pine, apples and sour-rubber finish. Still, those secondary aromas can be hard to find and might require coaxing.

Flavor: More like roasted (left whole and un-smashed; don't be a barbarian) cloves of garlic than a juiced one, Garlic Juice has some fruity or candy-like appeal after an initial strong wave of cloves, pine and coriander. Not my favorite, but an interesting switch for my tastebuds, and I can see others enjoying it more.

Effects: Although mentally calming and good at reducing stress and soreness, Garlic Juice made remedial tasks hard to concentrate on and moderate responsibilities a non-starter. Keep this untouched until the kids are in bed or the important work is done, and try to stay disciplined when the munchies come along, because they linger.

Home grower's take: "I've popped Garlic Juice and several others from Oni Seed — Papaya Cake, Tropsanto and Tropicanna Cookies, to name a few — and this one probably fit somewhere in the middle. The others were a little more gassy and fruity, and for whatever reason, I just couldn't get those sharp, thick trichomes to come out in the same way as with Papaya Cake or GMO. And it's probably me, but I couldn't get behind the flavor, either. For a ten-week strain in the flower room, that's a lot of daily stress for someone like me."

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego