Why Colorado Tokers Love Red Delicious

I've gone on rants about the general shittiness of Red Delicious apples plenty of times — at least once before here — but allow me to do it again. Those free-sack-lunch-ass apples have never once tasted delicious, tasty or even okay. They're mushy, the skin gets stuck in my teeth, and they remind me of a mean, cold middle-school cafeteria. Be gone with you, Red Delicious, and don't come back until you're a Braeburn.

Or a strain of weed.

Maybe it's the masochist in me, but my eyes were immediately drawn to the jar of Red Delicious flower during a monsoon dispensary run. I was intrigued by the genetics — Apple Fritter and Red Pop, two very potent hybrids — and the budtender's claim that the strain had broken 3 percent in terpene potency. I've never read into THC percentages, but the terpene count has always been an easy way to hook me. If Red Delicious truly topped 3 percent, that's like hitting .340 in the Major Leagues. It's not just good; it's an all-star. Maybe I needed to give Red Delicious reincarnated a chance.

My nostrils were expecting an overly sweet blast of ripe apples with Red Delicious, but instead received an interesting blend of hops, roses and overlying funk. Not at all what I anticipated, and nothing I was very excited about, either. Spicy, floral and bitter were never my favorite cannabis characteristics, but if the high is good, that's all water under the bridge — and for the most part, the high checked out.

Red Delicious brought a quick injection of mental euphoria, which seems too strong for the first twenty or minutes or so. However, those effects turn into a mental squeegee, clearing out stress and anxiety without clogging my brain. I tend to burn out after a few hours, and I avoid Red Delicious joints because of the floral flavor, but the strain is still a satisfying spell after a long day.

Looks: Tightly knit and compact, Red Delicious buds have small trichomes, but the coverage is still above-average, with wintergreen calyxes that have a tendency to turn dark-purple.

Smell: Spicy, floral and bitter, Red Delicious is hardly fruity, but has just enough underlying sweetness to smell like a produce section. I usually pick up hints of roses, tea and a hops-like bitterness, with a funky ending that lingers.

Flavor: The taste is more unique than enjoyable for me, but there are redeeming qualities. Floral and spicy notes combine for a more herbal flavor, which isn't my favorite. A funky push with biscuit notes is strong enough to counteract those characteristics, however.

Effects: Red Delicious is considered a hybrid best kept for nighttime, and that designation generally applies. I have smoked Red Delicious without fading, but those mid-afternoon sessions only worked if I had just eaten and had a coffee in my hand. Every other time, I experienced a steady climb with a guaranteed drop inside of three hours after significant munchies and a strong head high. But even with effects mainly centered between the ears, it was never hard to focus.

Where to find it: Canna City, Colorado Harvest Company, Cookies, the Dab, Emerald Fields, Golden Meds, the Herbal Cure, Herbal Wellness, Lova, Medicine Man, Oasis Cannabis Superstores, Rocky Road and Standing Akimbo have all recently stocked Red Delicious, with several shops in southern and western Colorado carrying the strain, as well.

Wholesale grower Bloom County is responsible for most, if not all, of the Red Delicious flower currently in Denver, although Eureka Vapor sells Red Delicious pre-rolls that are infused with distillate. Chronic Creations, a Wheat Ridge-based hash maker, sells extracted versions of Red Delicious, too. Fresh, another Colorado wholesale grower, has also reportedly grown Red Delicious, but we haven't come across it yet.

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