Top 25 Craziest Broncos Rookie Haircuts

Among the greatest traditions of your Denver Broncos is the rookie haircut, in which veterans wreak shear havoc on the scalps of first-year players. And no one is immune — not even presumed quarterback-of-the-future Paxton Lynch, who proudly tweeted the photo of his new Munchin Land-ready look, seen above. Not...

By Michael Roberts

August 19, 2016

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Among the greatest traditions of your Denver Broncos is the rookie haircut, in which veterans wreak shear havoc on the scalps of first-year players.

And no one is immune — not even presumed quarterback-of-the-future Paxton Lynch, who proudly tweeted the photo of his new Munchkin Land-ready look, seen above.

Not that his cut qualifies as extreme. Indeed, plenty of other Broncos novitiates have suffered worse coiffure-related abuse, much of it inflicted by safety T.J. Ward, aka the Mad Barber of Mile High.

Below, see our 25 favorites from recent years, complete with our suggested name for each style, so you can ask the folks at your salon of choice to duplicate each one.

If you're insane, that is.

Number 25: The No-Fly Zone

Number 24: The Misplaced Spit Curl

Number 23: The Unhappy Cliff Diver

Number 22: The Lawnmower Run Amok

Number 21: The Orange Crush

Number 20: The Jack Skellington

Number 19: The Soccer Ball

Number 18: The Furrowed Field

Number 17: The Man Who'll Never Get Laid

Number 16: The Two-Face

Number 15: The Convertible

Number 14: The Tortured Monk

Continue to keep counting down our picks for the 25 craziest Broncos rookie haircuts.

Number 13: The Receding Hairline

Number 12: The Number 43

Number 11: The Rectangle

Number 10: The Asymmetrical Mohawk

Number 9: The Oversized Chin Strap

Number 8: The Slipping Toupee

Number 7: The Relocated Pubic Hair

Number 6: The Elevated Mustache

Number 5: The Telltale Tufts

Number 4: The Rorschach Test

Number 3: The Wood-Chipper Accident

Number 2: The Dental Hygienist

Number 1: The Holiest of Them All

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Michael Roberts began his career with Westword in 1990 as music editor. In 1999, he took on a new role, full-time media reporter, as author of a column called The Message. In 2008, he became the lead writer for Westword's news blog, The Latest Word, a position he held until January 2023. Michael continues to freelance for Westword, covering everything from business to sports and the media; he also contributes to Jazziz, a national music magazine. He holds a bachelor's degree from what is now Colorado Mesa University and master's degrees from the University of California, Los Angeles, and Northwestern University.

Contact: Michael Roberts

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