The countdown of total crappiness continues. Yesterday we laid out the first ten of the top fifty worst rock and pop lyrics of all time, and today we present the next ten, which is populated by Poison's "Unskinny Bop," the Rolling Stones' "Cocksucker Blues" and a bunch of other ill-conceived lines from songs like Stryper's "To Hell with the Devil" and Skid Row's "18 and Life." Keep reading to see which songs made the list today.
40. Blur - "She's So High"
"She's so high/I want to crawl all over her"
The song itself is a more-than-decent Stone Roses ripoff, but this chorus -- particularly when sung by a ninety pound Damon Albarn -- reminds me too much of a Robert Crumb style erotic gigantism for the song to be casually enjoyed.
39. Poison "Unskinny Bop"
"Like gasoline you wanna pump me/And then leave me when you get your fill, yeah . . . Unskinny bop bop bop bop/She just loves to play/Unskinny bop nothin' more to say"
Having nothing more to say after repeating the phrase "unskinny bop" a few times really calls into the question the idea that you have anything to say in the first place.
38.The Rolling Stones - "Cocksucker Blues"
"Oh, where can I get my cock sucked/Where can I get my ass fucked/I may have no money/But I know where to put it every time"
This lyric is awesome in that it was written to freak out record executives that were harshing The Stones mellow, but today it's mostly a juvenile footnote for the Jagger/Richards fanatics that know about it.
37. Belle & Sebastian - "I'm A Cuckoo"
"I'd rather be in Tokyo/I'd rather listen to Thin Lizzy-oh"
You can't fit a square peg in a round hole, you can't make a horse drink water and you can't make Tokyo rhyme with Thin Lizzy.
36. Skid Row - "18 and Life"
"Ricky was a young boy/He had a heart of stone/Lived 9 to 5, and worked his fingers to the bone/Just barely out of school/Came from the edge of town/Fought like a switchblade, so no one could take him down, no/He had no money, oh, no good at home/Walked the streets a soldier/And he fought the world alone"
No matter how dramatic Sebastian Bach sang this song, and no matter how adorably delinquent he looked while doing it, the story it tells never really seems all that bad. I mean, the kid had a good job and was still living with his Dad. And then he gets kicked out. Big deal. Get a haircut and grow up, ya lazy hairbag.
35. REM - "Shiny Happy People"
"Put it in the ground/Where the flowers grow/Gold and silver shine . . . Put it in your hands/Take it, take it/There's no time to cry, happy, happy"
This song was always performed with too much earnestness and beloved too whole-heartedly by fans to be considered a joke. And that is sad.
34. Stryper - "To Hell With The Devil"
"Just a liar and a thief/The word tells us so/We like to let him know/Where he can go/To Hell with the devil"
You combine '80s hair-metal with the preachiest kind of Christian rock, and you're guaranteed to mine some lyrics so ridiculous, you're embarrassed to even read them.
33. Elvis - "Almost Always True"
"I was always, baby/I was always/Well almost always true to you/Met a pretty mademoiselle/Her papa owned a small hotel/Oh, I was almost always true to you"
Only Elvis could get away with singing about the glory of infidelity, to his girlfriend, only moments after they reunited.
32. John Mellencamp - "Jack And Diane"
"Hold on to sixteen as long as you can/Changes come around real soon"
Anyone who tells you that sixteen is the best age of your life is an incredibly sad adult.
Thom Yorke and PJ Harvey - The Mess We Are inby wwmila
31. Thom Yorke and P.J. Harvey - "This Mess We're In"
"Night and day/I dream of/Making love/To you now, baby/Love making/On screen/Impossible dream/And I have seen"
A really great song executed brilliantly, yet no matter how intoxicating Yorke's voice is, when he sings these lines you can't help but wonder why they (surely) let a fourteen year old twee-pop kid write the lyrics.
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