Jersey Shore is over. The fact that a 10-episode reality TV show needs no introduction and that its conclusion is an event is shocking. Whether the show was so successful because it was Freud's wet dream or because we secretly love stereotypes or because of some unrepeatable Gladwellian cultural cocktail doesn't much matter - it's a fixture, for at least the next... week.
In the post reunion show letdown, we turned to the same place we always turn for comfort in these matters: The internet. Specifically Google video search. The results, of course, were varied, but we waded through the crap so you don't have to. Because if there's one thing we hope to accomplish with a 10 video Jersey Shore related list, it's preventing people from wasting time...
10. Alyssa Milano gets Snooki'd
Getting indignant about Jersey Shore is arguing with a toddler, and in the end that's exactly what's happening here. It eeks past Craig Ferguson's Nick Lachey/Mila Kunis/Thomas Lennon assisted spoof for the final spot because of the faces Milano makes starting at about the 30 second mark.
9. Random girl on Youtube gets traumatized
Sammi Sweetheart is secretly the funniest character on the show because she is so fantastically, cartoonishly manipulative. Her confessionals should have always ended with a post-production evil laugh. Some girl in some living room nails Sammi's Oscar moment. This is the first of several clips on this list that don't bother trying to make the show less ridiculous because you can't. It's docked points because it's shot on a handicam in someone's living room.
8. Conan gets a nickname
Not exactly a parody video, this one features The Situation and Snooki in their appearance on Conan's late Tonight Show (get it?). The joke here is in the online name generator. Worth your time for Andy Richter's randomly generated handle alone.
7. Bobby Bottleservice auditions
Nick Kroll trots out his hilarious Ed Hardy Boyz character, which is basically a Jersey Shore parody even though it came first, for a crippled-syntax clip where he auditions for Season 2. He's going to buy his grandma a gold jetski with the winnings. No, there are no winnings. Or Season 2 (we hope).
6. Weekend Update with Snooki
It drags in parts (what do you expect from SNL), but Bobby Moynihan hits it so perfectly a couple times that it's worth sticking it out. The poof-touch freakout in man-voice is pretty choice, as is the fake laugh.
5. The Shore of Jersey
Conan makes his second appearance on this list (we're actually required to do that for the next month) with Jersey Shore through the eyes of the BBC. Which brings up the excellent point: How does this show make us look to the rest of the world? No different, you say?
4. Meet Me Tonight in Seaside Heights
This musical number has its wince-worthy moments, but what on this list doesn't? How no one that we're aware of tied Jersey's greatest rock and roller with its shore's sudden fame is beyond us. There are a few solid lines, and Snooki's verse is so much catchier than it should be. To this point on the list, you'll note that Snooki is the most mimicked. That'll change. Got any guesses who comes out on top?
3. The Ceranation
We're pretty sure the Jersey Shore cast members are not fans of Arrested Development or deadpan generally. Which makes Michael Cera's afternoon conversion to Guido-hood all the better. Cera pretty much just lets them parody themselves, which works out about as well as it did through the entire run of the show: perfectly. In a different, more commercial-ridden version of this clip, Cera climbs out of the hot tub very deliberately between Pauly D and Ronnie. Awkwardness ensues.
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2. The Situation Room
Filibust a nut. This probably gets number one if it stops there, but it doesn't. Leaving the door open for...
Enter the mindfuckery. Snooki, The Situation and Pauly D pretend they have been pretending this whole time. This is confusing to watch because the biggest appeal of the show is its cast's apparent inability to introspect on any level. Not that this video proves they actually are self-aware -- someone handed them a script that had a bunch of lines on it about how they were reading a script, and they read them, probably because it will be a long time before any of them says no to anyone with a camera. It would have been even better if whoever wrote this had given them personas that were normal instead of so far in the other direction (The Situation laments the loss of his soul), but it's still pretty disorienting.