Marijuana Strain Reviews

Why Colorado Tokers Love Cheetah Piss

Cheetah Piss won’t make you run faster. In fact, you probably won’t want to walk at all.
Cheetah Piss won’t make you run faster. In fact, you probably won’t want to walk at all. Herbert Fuego
Finally, a decade into the streaming wars, someone had the sense to secure the rights to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I haven't been able to watch Uncle Phil (R.I.P.) in years, but now all feels right in the world, thanks to HBO Max. Just kidding — the world is on fire right now — but Will Smith helps me forget that for 22 minutes.

Cannabis nostalgia has that effect in spades, too. After smoking good weed, my giddy old memories seem closer and more real, to the point that I paused Toy Story right before the Pizza Planet scene for a quick puff last night. It doesn't always work, but the right strain and mindset often combine for fun mental trips to years past when the present is giving me an off night. Cheetah Piss, a strain from Cookies Fam that sounds more like high-octane dirt-bike fuel than cannabis, seemed made to fit that mold.

Cheetah Piss was named in honor of Cat Piss, an energetic, ammonia-smelling strain from the 2000s that became popular at medical dispensaries on the West Coast. As tokers got more stinky options, though, strains smelling (and named) like Cat Piss faded away. But I've always appreciated the sour, fume-like complexities of Cat Piss, and viewed it as a way to identify real potheads. Seeing a breeder like Cookies, which is largely responsible for the current Cake and Pie strain fad at dispensaries, embrace those qualities with Cheetah Piss gives me hope that we'll see more returns to the past.

Don't expect Cheetah Piss to deliver a high similar to that of its predecessor, though. The strain's Lemonnade, Gelato and London Poundcake genetics are more apt for relaxation than the racy effects of Cat Piss, a phenotype of Super Silver Haze. However, there are cannabis varieties labeled Cat Piss with Afghani and Trainwreck backgrounds, so it's not the first time a talented breeder has re-created buds that tinge the nostrils like a new bottle of Sex Panther.

I understand why a newer, modern take on a feline's main vein requires a title that one-ups the original, but "Cheetah" implies a faster, more upbeat high than Cat Piss, already an infamous daytime strain that pumps lungs full of gusto. Cheetah Piss makes me laid-back and aloof, usually draining my tank of daily fucks to give within two hours. Cat Piss, on the other hand, turned me into a jumping jackrabbit, and the lethargic comedown was minimal. That's nitpicking to nitpick, though, because I thoroughly enjoyed Cheetah Piss's high, a gentle, euphoric ride made for chilling on the porch or in front of the TV. With Looney Tunes and Dexter's Laboratory next on my streaming list, that's exactly the buzz I'm looking for.

We've sniffed out Cheetah Piss at most of the dispensaries carrying Cookies strains, including Affinity, Colorado Harvest Company, Diego Pellicer, Lightshade, Higher Grade, Nature's Kiss, Pig n' Whistle, Solace Meds, Silver Stem Fine Cannabis, Roll Up and Simply Pure, among others.

Looks: Bright-green sugar leaves and a thick barrage of white trichomes look like frosting on Cheetah Piss's dense, forest-green buds and dark-purple spots.

Smell: Cheetah Piss is easier on the nose than I remember Cat Piss being — but then again, I remember jumping a lot higher in high school than I did in reality — with sharp, acidic smells of chemical cleaner balanced out by herbal, minty scents and a piney back end. But it's much more Clorox than Pine-Sol.

Flavor: Those ammonia-like qualities and piney characteristics combine for a funky sourness, with the chemical flavor slightly winning out and subtle notes of menthol joining the party.

Effects: Cheetah Piss starts off smooth and only somewhat relaxing, increasing my curiosity and excitement to converse for about thirty minutes before lulling me into a slower state of giggles and indecisiveness. The high is predictable after the first time, and best saved for the evening.

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego