The school bus I saw on my way home yesterday was a sad reminder that summer doesn't last forever. That feeling of imprisonment has been diluted now that I work year-round, but it's still depressing to see the sunshine disappear and the jackets come out. Sorrow was soon replaced with inspiration, however, as I suddenly realized it was time for our mid-summer cannabis classic.
The start of July is the real halfway point on the calendar, but baseball holds its all-star game with less than half of the season left, so why can't we? With over thirty strains reviewed so far in 2018, here are the ten most popular cuts of cannabis we've written about.
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A child of Gorilla Glue and Tangie, Citrus Sap is a sativa-dominant strain that revels in each parent’s most popular aspects: heavy resin production and stark orange flavor, respectively. Experienced users and growers alike enjoy the strain’s high THC potency and strong yields, but novices can find themselves in too deep for the same reasons.
Add Wedding Cake to a long list of potent indica-dominant hybrids bred from Girl Scout Cookies, which in this case was crossed with Cherry Pie for a true night-time delicacy. It's highly advised that you don't touch this strain until after the sun goes down and dinner is cooked, because this slice of dessert will be the final thing you consume before hitting the hay.
If you're going to name a strain after one of America's most beloved musicians, it had better live up to the name. Although Christopher Wallace’s taste might be a little too gritty for some, this Trill strain brings all the party and no bullshit to the table. It's just a shame that tokers in Bed-Stuy can't enjoy it because of federal prohibition.
I expected a stiff punch to the chin from Alien Dream during my first foray, but was greeted by more of a gentle pull that allowed me to enjoy the visceral, giggly sensations of an indica without the fast nap. However, I decided to start smoking it earlier in the day next time, and was a bumbling fool after the second bong snapper. While the strain might lean closer to a fifty/fifty hybrid than genetics suggest, this Dream is still a cloudy force to be reckoned with.
Given its calming and sedating qualities, Opium's name is well deserved. The high is soothing for the body and mind, relieving stress, pressures and pain — or making you forget about them, at the very least. Although heavily used for medical purposes, Opium is also great for a night in, as its relaxing and visual effects keep the senses stimulated for a good amount of time before you slip into the inevitable doze.
I personally love Cactus Breath’s intense funk, with sweet, grainy flavors and a creamy back end that remind me of tomato sauce and lemongrass. The weird combination of characteristics can be an acquired taste, but any seasoned toker will appreciate the strain’s full-course flavor. With roots tracing back to British Columbia and California, the strain typically sticks to the West Coast and doesn’t stray much. While I’ve found it in Arizona and California, the only Denver dispensary I’ve seen carrying it is The Herbal Cure — and after you try the shop’s resin-glazed cut of sweet funk, you just might find yourself planning a trip west.
Granola Funk isn’t a jam band that opens for Phish or Umphrey’s McGee, but it might be in the same ballpark. The potent hybrid’s name could easily double as a new genre of yuppie psychedelic music taking over the Front Range, and its characteristics are full of relaxation and nostalgia: perfect for a mid-summer night at Red Rocks.
Death by Lemons
Conjuring the voice of Katt Williams screaming “This shit right here?!” as he rants about the ridiculous names of pot strains, Death by Lemons might sound like an absurd attempt by the breeder to get some attention, and some tokers think it is. The budtender at THC scoffed at me for even considering the strain, saying that all of the limonene terpenes gave him a headache. “It's your money,” he added.
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My allegiance to the mustache-mic god created a soft spot in my heart for Killer Queen, a sativa-leaning hybrid that shares the name of one of the band's first big hits in America. Bred from Cinderella 99 and G13 genetics, the cannabis strain wasn't the same immediate hit as the song, but Killer Queen has built up a formidable shelf-life since its debut. The strain is known for being relatively easy in the grow and can be manipulated for strong commercial yields, so it's become popular with cultivators, and its sour-apple flavor makes for a tasty smoke that consumers appreciate.
Although labeled an indica and carrying Bubba Kush genetics, 303 OG is euphoric and invigorating at first, inspiring users to tackle a creative project or hands-on chore. But toker beware, because that doesn’t last very long. The time of the onset of a gradual body melt differs by user, but it’ll show up eventually. The strain’s potent and varied effects are good for mental anguish such as stress, depression and anxiety, as well as eating disorders and nausea.