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Why Colorado Tokers Love Krunk Juice

Krunk Juice, for the all of us awaiting the return of the East Side Boyz.EXPAND
Krunk Juice, for the all of us awaiting the return of the East Side Boyz.
Herbert Fuego
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In 2007, Lil Jon set a Guinness World Record after purchasing the world's largest diamond pendant. The pendant, proudly draped from a chain around his neck at awards shows, read "Crunk Ain't Dead." Nearly fourteen years later, crunk is still alive, but much closer to being put out to pasture than put on prime time. Thankfully, cannabis breeders are always here to revive those MTV memories.

For those of you with TikTok accounts, crunk music was essentially a mashup of club music and partying in the South that became popular in the mid-2000s thanks to Lil Jon classics like "Get Low" (you know, that "window to the wall" song). We heard crunk hits as recently as 2014 ("Turn Down for What"), but that music fad has faded in favor of newer trends. Now that growers on the odd end of thirty are working in the cannabis industry, though, it was only a matter of time before weed homages popped up.

At one point, crunk was so popular that energy drinks and malt liquor beverages named "Crunk Juice" were sold at gas stations. I could think of no better name for weed meant to commemorate the likes of the East Side Boyz or the Ying Yang Twins, but the background behind Krunk Juice, an emerging strain in Colorado, doesn't exactly match. Bred in Boulder — not a hotbed of hip-hop — by FreeWorld Genetics, Krunk Juice is a cross of Grape Drink and Krishna Kush. Lengthy family histories of grape-leaning and Eastern genetics are hardly an equation for energy and upbeat partying — but to be fair, FreeWorld doesn't market the strain as such, describing the effects as calm and relaxing. Still, that's sort of like making a direct-to-DVD sequel of a cult classic ten years later: Did you really need to go there?

Personal expectations aside, Krunk Juice improved boring nights and late afternoons. Almost immediately intoxicating, the high killed stress and a tight stomach while making my eyes so red and puffy that my roommates wondered if I'd contracted pink eye during a pandemic. (Don't worry: I don't get that crunk.) Physical energy and clear thinking were both obvious collateral damage, though, and I couldn't function much beyond the couch after a joint.

Krunk Juice is also gaining a reputation among home and outdoor growers for its quick flowering time and sturdy defense against natural elements. And while all of that makes for a solid strain, maybe we should change the name to honor a drink more fitting to its personality...like Sanka.

I've spotted Krunk Juice at La Conte's, Mammoth Farms and Solace Meds, as well as in dispensaries in Trinidad and eastern Colorado. Based on how dry all the versions were that I've come across, it's likely being sourced from the same wholesale grower. Other than Revel Cultivators, an outdoor operation, I couldn't find any growers claiming the strain.

Looks: Labeled an indica plant, Krunk Juice has thick stems and bright-green buds, with violet fan leaves, peach-colored pistils and a heavy sugar coating.

Smell: Floral and skunky up front with heavy notes of mud and juniper, Krunk Juice's Kush influences are dominant, but not strong enough to cancel out syrupy aromas of artificial grape flavoring, which hide in the calyxes until the nugs are broken up.

Flavor: In all three of my experiences with Krunk Juice, the flower was too dry to grade fairly, but the buds I've come across tasted much more like Krishna Kush than Grape Drink, with earthy flavors and a chalky, floral aftertaste. The grape qualities, likely a causality of Colorado's climate and poor curing, weren't noticeable.

Effects: Quick, calming and straight to the point, Krunk Juice is a safe choice for novices looking for the prototypical high, as well as regular users desiring the classic combination of hungry-happy-sleepy. Any use before 5 p.m., though, and you might as well cancel your plans.

Is there a strain you'd like to see profiled? Email marijuana@westword.com.

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