Stoners weren't the only ones smoking above-average amounts of pot last week. As we refreshed our Internet browsers every five minutes to see where 5,000 votes from Pima County had just gone, we needed a calming influence, and weed was there for us. (I'm not entirely sure that poll workers in Arizona, Nevada and Georgia weren't doing the same, considering the sloth's pace we all endured.)
A blind choice won't necessarily find the right high during such stressful times, though. I knew that hanging out at home with the lights dimmed would likely lead to inevitable news watching and Twitter scrolling, so I wanted something uplifting and distracting. Motorbreath, a child of Chemdog and San Fernando Valley OG, appeared to have the right balance of funk, flavor and jubilation to help me get there.
Neither of Motorbreath's parents give me a clear high. Every member of Chemdog's family tree — let alone the original — throws my intelligence around like a chew toy, and SFV OG essentially does the same, but with a Kush aftertaste. Combining the two meant a four-hour lobotomy after each smoking session. Since I couldn't induce myself into a coma for a week (or the rest of 2020), Motorbreath sounded like my best option.
Motorbreath's gassy smell and flavor might trick you into thinking those Diesel qualities will be energizing, but don't fall for the trap. The strain's high is popular for evening use and muscle pain, and will have a low-tolerance user drooling in front of a blank screen after a couple of bowls. Shit, two bong rips of Motorbreath do that to me, too. When used in shorter spurts, however, Motorbreath makes me feel out of this world without dumping my brain in quicksand, keeping me relaxed and stoned off my ass, but fully aware. Such a high can be utilized during the day, but don't expect to get much done. Distractions are numerous on Motorbreath, which is exactly what I needed to endure hearing Georgia's secretary of state speak about provisional ballots for the third time in sixteen hours.
Motorbreath is easy to find in the Denver area right now, with Alternative Medicine on Capitol Hill, Complete Releaf, DANK, Denver Dispensary, Diego Pellicer, Golden Meds, The Herbal Cure, Herbal Wellness, Kaya, Lightshade, Lit, Live Green, Lova, Oasis Cannabis Superstores, Rocky Mountain High, Seed & Smith and Starbuds all carrying the strain, and the list probably doesn't stop there. My favorite cut comes from Cherry, a wholesale grower that supplies several of those dispensaries. Anyone looking for a cheesy, piney or gassy strain will appreciate Cherry's cut, a sugar-laden skunk bomb that carries a strong high without getting overwhelming.
Looks: Motorbreath's buds get lanky and dense, with a glowing, light-green color and rusty peach pistils that look just like those of its parents.
Smell: It takes a few sniffs to get through a thick aromatic wall of pine and rubber, but subtle, sweet hints of vanilla eventually show up, followed by more noticeable smells of cheese and soil. The sweet, skunky funk is an easy choice for tokers searching for fuel or OG characteristics.
Flavor: The flavor is almost directly down the middle of the strain's parents, pairing Chemdog's fuel notes and SFV OG's Afghani-vanilla influence for a refreshing hit of sweet, sour, gassy and funky before resinous notes of pine needles and mud stick to the sides of my tongue — almost mixing together Chemdog, OG Kush and UK Cheese all in the same bowl.
Effects: I might've moved and thought a half-step slower on Motorbreath, and I was distracted by any change in the wind, but I was never disoriented. Lacking any shame or stress, I got exactly what I wanted from the strain, which was a manageable shot of stress relief during the day and a fun way to fast-forward through the night on an even keel.
Is there a strain you'd like to see profiled? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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