Count me one of the many people who don't consider a vacation a vacation unless there's a coastline involved. Camping and family trips are fun and worthwhile, but the relaxation is lacking, and you typically have to make your own drinks. Give me a breakfast buffet on the beach, though, and there's nowhere I'd rather be. Throw in fresh juice, and I might shed a tear when it's time to leave.
As sundown comes earlier and nights grow colder, I've begun yearning for a cold glass of OJ and some waffles accompanied by the ocean breeze. But since I realize I live in Colorado, I quickly started searching for an alternative, which for me usually means a weed strain with a name you'd expect to see at Jamba Juice. Passion Orange Guava, a mix of the ever-potent Tangie and Guava Dawg, was a natural choice to close out summer. But after a week of smoking the strain, I'm still not sure it's something I want starting my day.
Any strain with Tangie in the family tree is a virtual lock for intense orange or citrus characteristics. Although not as present on dispensary menus as it was in 2016, Tangie's sharp mandarin flavors have coated stoner nostrils like an iron skillet, and the smell has never left our memories. Guava Dawg, a mixture of Afghani, Star Dawg and Tres Dawg, brings its own fruity spin, with some classic sour, earthy and vanilla traits to provide a very small slice of variance.
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Tangie's buzzing, uplifting effects are as stiff as its orange flavor, and strains in the Chemdog line always disorient me. Combining the two was akin to drinking mimosas on an empty stomach, filling me with enthusiasm, energy and little direction before I ultimately ate my weight in diner food. Smaller amounts of Passion Orange Guava proved to have much the same effect, leaving me just enough concentration to clean my house but not enough to remember where things were before I moved them. I could be in the minority, though, because most Passion Orange Guava users love the strain for a morning or pre-game toke and swear by its clear-minded high.
Passion Orange Guava is still more popular in California than in Colorado, but it's starting to find its way to menus in this state's dispensaries. We've spotted the citrus fruit basket at High Level Health, with several spots around Colorado carrying cuts under the Willie's Reserve label, as well. High Level Health's take, a five-time award winner at various cannabis cups, is a must-try for anyone who misses Tangie or prefers citrus-leaning strains.
Looks: Passion Orange Guava's buds look dense and compact, but the calyxes are still light and flat when they're broken up, with a light forest-green color and dark-orange pistils giving the hybrid strain a complex look.
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Smell: Loads of citrus, and sharp citrus at that. Passion Orange Guava's acidic sweetness makes me think it'd be better served as Pineapple Orange Guava, but that strain already exists. However, the Passion cut carries some hints of soil and funk, with a tropical back end — much like an underripe guava in the middle of oranges and pineapples.
Flavor: With Tangie as a parent, you'd better taste like a juice box. Passion Orange Guava's strong orange flavor and sweet, slightly musty aftertaste checks that box, pushing through a dirty pipe and really punching in a joint, as though you're mixing four juices together from the back of the fridge.
Effects: Some users enjoy Passion Orange Guava because the strain gives them a clear, energetic high, but I find focus hard to come by. The energy is almost too much to handle, turning my mouth into the Mojave Desert and keeping my brain just as barren. Still, ignorance was largely bliss in this case, with my stupid ass happy to take an aimless walk anytime jitters kicked in — and walking is definitely not on my regular list of activities.
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