French bass electronic-music band Dirtyphonics will throw down a live set at Beta tonight; members Pho, Playte, Capskod and Pitch-In will back the performance, and mLe and Sureshot will open. P.U.N.C.H.I.S. is bringing in Pleasurekraft as well, rounding up a night of international quality music you can hear without jumping on a plane. (9 p.m., 18+, $15)
Cervantes welcomes Mindelixir and Starkey with Zeno and DJ Noos for a night of bass-heavy tunes with jazz, funk and hip-hop undertones. (8 p.m., all ages, $10)
Who makes better DJs: boys or girls? That's the point of tonight's Dicks & Janes: Girls vs Boys event at Funky Buddha. On the boys' side, Addikt, Seth Orin, Brokin, Nevin and Entropy will attempt to prove their worth; for the ladies, Angel Pitch, OM, Nola, Anh Thu Nguyen and Licious D will represent. (9 p.m., 21+)
Global Friday at the Church brings on Hycloud, Skye, Floorbangers, Twenty42 and Phunke Elements on the main floor, plus Klutch Beat Bootique in the mashup basement and Peter Elzi in the Retro Room. (8 p.m., 18+, ladies 21+ get in free all night)
Bar Standard's Vibe Fridays is another option to kick off your weekend, with drink specials and DJs spinning sexy summer tunes. (9 p.m., 21+, no cover)
Miles Maeda headlines Funky Buddha on Saturday night, with Steve Synfull supporting; Maeda cut his needles in Chicago in the early '90s alongside Derrick May and Mark Farina (maybe you've heard of them). (8 p.m., 21+, $12)Head to Vinyl on Saturday for Ecotek and James Egbert with Joman, Beckley & Krootz and Zen, plus DJ Danny in the basement spinning hip-hop and Dave Peacock with party hits on the roof. (9 p.m., 18+)
Are you very important? Bar Standard presents VIP Saturdays with DJ Tanastadi, DJ Chonz and Burhm Gotti; there will be drink specials by Nude Vodka. (9 p.m., 21+, $5 cover, ladies free before 11 p.m.)
Beta's Saturday FUNhouse will feature Sultan and Ned Shepard with Dragon and Tommy Michael supporting; we know the dance floors will be packed for these favorites. (9 p.m., 18+, $10)
Not dark enough for you? This Saturday at Milk, Mike Rich will be rolling out the best 80's and 90's in the Milk Bar while Roland rocks out in the jazz room with the best goth, industrial and dark wave you've never heard. (9 p.m., 21+, free before 10 p.m., $5 after)
We know: It's late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, and the party seems to be stopping ... but you aren't. This is why 2AM and Soundpharmacy Afterhours exist; Kaya and Dorian Gray spin till dawn, and if you're coming from the Church, Vinyl or Bar Standard, you get $5 off entry, so don't rip off that bracelet just yet! (1 a.m., 18+)
And Table 6 hosts a (Turn)Table6 Brunch with DJ Vajra and Ginger Perry, plus a farewell to Jen Nordhem. Good music, good times, good food -- what's not to love? (10 a.m., all ages)