Marijuana Strain Reviews

Why Colorado Tokers Love GMO Zkittlez

GMO Zkittlez doesn't bring every flavor on the rainbow, but it's still a tasty strain.
GMO Zkittlez doesn't bring every flavor on the rainbow, but it's still a tasty strain. Herbert Fuego
The opportunity to go to a cool movie theater on a hot day was sorely missed during most of the pandemic, so the first weekend that Mortal Kombat was in theaters, I jumped on it. And then a sugar high jumped on me.

Visiting a snack bar for the first time in fourteen months was instantly overwhelming, and I splurged, ending up with boxes of Buncha Crunch and Sour Patch Kids, an ICEE, a bag of popcorn and a roll of Sprees I'd bought at the gas station (in case the candy selection sucked) all in my lap when the lights went off. Only the popcorn and a sad, colorless lump of ice at the bottom of my ICEE remained by the end of the previews. Yawning after Sub-Zero's second fight, I could barely stay awake for the ending.

It'd been years since a sugar high had flattened me like that, but in retrospect, it was nothing compared to what Zkittlez does. The Grape Ape and Grapefruit mixture is like a fruity lullaby to sleep every time I smoke it, as is any other member of the Zkittlez family tree. So hearing that it had been crossed with GMO and OG Kush didn't just increase the stakes — this was upping the ante to a point no one had asked for. Putting all the chips in the middle on the first hand. Using two pieces of fried chicken instead of bread for a bun. Signing Kevin Durant on the back of a 73-win season. The lineage of GMO Zkittlez is right up there, and it was my responsibility to find out what the high was like.

Ethos Genetics is the breeder responsible for GMO Zkittlez, crossing Zkittlez with GMO (a mix of Girl Scout Cookies and Chemdog) and OG Kush. Ethos could've stopped at just two parents, but no, it had to triple-stamp a double-stamp. The breeder has never been one to play within boundaries, though, birthing a line of studly Mandarin strains that are available across the country; throwing three titans in the sandbox together is hardly surprising for Ethos. Neither was the clotheslining high from GMO Zkittlez, which spanks anyone foolish enough to try it before nighttime.

I was that foolish on several occasions, and all of them ended up in an afternoon nap or 8 p.m. bedtime — but that's not how the high started. Extreme interest, curiosity and loose, warm limbs for an hour tricked me into thinking I might make it through GMO Zkittlez unscathed, but just like a sugar high, the crash always came, and no juice box or coffee was going to pull me out. I'll be keeping GMO Zkittlez around exclusively for nighttime or a greedy Sunday nap, and nothing else.

We've caught GMO Zkittlez at 1136 Yuma, Berkeley Dispensary, Canna City, Cherry Peak, Colorado Harvest Company, Doc's Apothecary, Good Chemistry and Twin Peaks.

Looks: GMO Zkittlez buds are usually wintergreen with bright-orange pistils and an average layer of trichomes, along with a chunky, Chemdog-like bud structure.

Smell: Distinctive and new to my nose, GMO Zkittlez's aroma leans more on the OG or Chemdog sides, pushing out potent fumes of cleaner and pine with a zesty twist. However, another wind of rich grapes and sugar sweeps through at the end for a strange but enjoyable pairing.

Flavor: I've heard of GMO Zkittlez carrying a sweet, candy-like flavor, but the kerosene and Kush notes stick out the most, with hints of black pepper. Grape and sugar come out at the end, but they're not always noticeable.

Effects: The high stokes jubilation out of the gate, but inevitably pushes me off a cliff inside of ninety minutes. My muscles are always relaxed, but the mental brakes and physical lethargy wrap me up like an anaconda for hours before I can snap out of it.

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego