Marijuana Strain Reviews

Why Colorado Tokers Love Meat Breath

This Meat Breath smells more like a wet barn than a chuck roast.
This Meat Breath smells more like a wet barn than a chuck roast. Herbert Fuego
I don't think I've ever been afflicted with meat breath before. No matter how much pot roast I devoured in the past, no one ever accused me of eating it, and it's never bounced back against my nose like coffee breath when I wear a mask after lunch. The meat sweats? Different question — stay out of my room on fajita night if you value your nose hair — but meat breath didn't exist as far as I knew. Inhale too much Meat Breath, though, and you're in for a dangerous game.

Meat Breath is a heavy combination of Mendo Breath and Meatloaf, a Girl Scout Cookies phenotype, from ThugPug Genetics. The strain rose to prominence around five years ago but is just now making an imprint in Denver, with Seed & Smith and other wholesale operations distributing the strain around town. Outside of some extracted forms, though, I've yet to be impressed by Meat Breath's smell and flavor, which is supposed to carry a pungent mix of pine, spice, citrus and dough. While I have noticed all of those characteristics during my meaty experiences, only the spice has been very prevalent in Colorado.

My issues with the local Meat Breath's smell and flavor were countered with a distinct and powerful high — or should I say low — that I hadn't reached with flower in weeks. Instantly relaxing on the body and calming to the mind, Meat Breath never stopped pulling me down, resulting in a nap or early bedtime. What about coffee, you ask? Please. Caffeine was a drop of water in a forest fire after smoking Meat Breath, which glued me to a Netflix and comatose session for hours at a time.

I've seen Meat Breath at Buddy Boy, Cannabis Station, Denver Dispensary, Lightshade, Golden Meds, Greenfields, Kaya Cannabis, Local Product of Colorado, Medicine Man, Mile High Dispensary, Nature's Kiss, Rocky Mountain High, Seed and Smith, Star Buds, Twin Peaks and Yuma Way.

Looks: Brighter than its Girl Scout Cookies parents thanks to heavier resin production and lime-green calyxes, Meat Breath has a glowing aura and relatively tall stalks that look sativa, but don't be fooled.

Smell: Meat Breath skews more musty, spicy and floral than the sweet, doughy aroma of Girl Scout Cookies or the vanilla creaminess that Mendo Breath is known for. Zesty, not peppery, Meat Breath carries small hints of cinnamon and wood that combine for a hint of cocoa among all the pine, like a flowery version of Bubba Kush.

Flavor: Heavy on the zest, with a light, piney aftertaste and subtle notes of wood and lemon, Meat Breath's reputation for classic flavor is legit when the production's on point. Sadly, the Denver cuts I've come across haven't yet been up to par.

Effects: Even the strong-willed crumble after too much Meat Breath, which carries a high similar to a post-Thanksgiving coma. Wit is gone, motivation burns to ash, and limb function is shaky at best. Embrace the couch or bed, and enjoy the physical relief it brings. Other than an hour of giggles and the never-ending pit in your stomach, you're not getting much else.

Home grower's take: "I popped Meat Breath seeds about three years ago. Dense calyxes and tight nodes, so anything looking like 2005 outdoors clearly isn't right. This is an epoxy-coated missile that should leave you fried for a while. I never grew it expecting a big yield, and I never got one, but it was a good-quality strain that could be pulled in nine weeks. Anyone who appreciates the first, early run of Girl Scout Cookies, when all you got was a little sweet dough with more pine and spice, would like it, and should be able to grow it fine. Hold out for the seeds if you can. Clones from a store aren't worth the risk, especially if you have other plants in the grow already."

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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego