Marijuana Strain Reviews

Why Colorado Tokers Love Smarties

The complex flavor from Smarties might surprise you.
The complex flavor from Smarties might surprise you. Herbert Fuego
Candy is a clear marker of generations. I have no clue what kids on TikTok are eating right now, but I can confidently tell you that no one under sixty eats Good & Plenty, and no one under thirty eats Smarties.

Before being relegated to Halloween candy bag filler, Smarties had real currency at elementary schools. Twenty years ago, teachers handed Smarties and Dum Dums out like pain pills to keep us docile and obedient, and we swapped those pressed, colored sugar pucks around the playground like trading cards. Now that ’90s kids are grown up and full of cash, it only makes sense to name a strain of weed after treats from our childhood. But the weed had better live up.

Enough talented growers and extractors have embraced Smarties for me to take it seriously, even if the background is a bit muddy. Most accounts trace Smarties back to Pacific Northwest breeder Kush4breakfast, but a small contingent claims that Smarties resulted from a Cookies and Connected Cannabis Co. collaboration. Both backstories have the same lineage, however, with Blue City Diesel and Girl Scout Cookies bred to create Smarties.

Outside of Blue City Diesel's light berry flavors, neither of Smarties' parents would confuse anyone with Runtz or other candy-forward strains. The strain's name obviously panders to our desire to smoke, drink or eat nostalgia — a friend just spent $30 on shipping Five Alive from Canada last week — and that makes it no different from other cannabis names inspired by bakeries, ice cream parlors or candy shops. There are very enjoyable smells brewing in Smarties sacks, though, and the flavor just might surprise you.

Looks: It can be pebble-shaped and smooth or oblong and gnarled, but Smarties should be dense, with three or four buds usually accounting for several grams. The nugs are typically olive green and heavy on trichomes, and bear the occasional purple spot. There's nothing unique about Smarties' appearance, but nothing feeble, either.

Smell: I expected something fruity, sour and sugary. Smarties proved to be much more complex. Dank, funky whiffs of Durban Poison and Kush dominated my first interaction, while subsequent smells showcased sweeter aspects. A day in my jar and a couple of nug pinches displayed a stronger sourness, and those dank, funky notes had transformed into an overripe fruitiness.

Flavor: The smell impressed, yet the flavor surprised. A tart, berry-like flavor clung to the sides of my tongue after each puff, leaving funky hints of dough and a distinct earthy, hashy aftertaste lingering around afterward. I could truly taste both of Smarties' parents, but with its own signature sugary input, too. If you're looking for a candy connection, this is the strongest candidate.

Effects: I find myself stretching a lot after smoking Smarties, no matter how much sleep I had the night before. Those sedating effects tend to stay south of my shoulders, however, giving me the best of both worlds for an indoors high. My brain stays alert with a euphoric bounciness on Smarties, which doesn't go away unless the physical comedown takes over. Keep your munchies in check, and that probably won't happen, ensuring that the high will be relaxing, productive or just plain fun: That part is up to you.

Where to find it:  We've found Smarties in flower or extract form at Altitude, Ascend Cannabis Co., Canna City, Colorado Harvest Co., DANK, Den-Rec, Denver Kush Club, Golden Meds, Good Chemistry, Green Man Cannabis, Lakeshore Cannabis, Life Flower Dispensary, Maiko Holistics, Simply Pure, Spark Dispensary and Sticky Fingerz.                                                           

710 Labs and Ascend Cannabis Co. are responsible for the majority of Smarties flower and hash in Colorado at the moment. The 710 takes are usually expensive, but get to Colorado Harvest Co. before it runs out of the brand's rare deli-style flower and you'll get to try it at a discount.

Is there a strain you’d like to see profiled? Email [email protected]
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Herbert Fuego is the resident stoner at Westword, ready to answer all your marijuana questions.
Contact: Herbert Fuego