Reader: I Had a Strategy for Making Dating Fun. It Worked!

At the start of the new year, we published an op-ed by Marie Wilde on her problems with dating in Denver — specifically, with trying to use Tinder. Her conclusion? "Maybe it's time to delete Tinder again and go find some real men."

In the hundreds of responses to her essay, people had plenty of other suggestions for Wilde — and a few for men in Denver, including the smart idea at the end of this post.

But first, there's this from John:

 As someone who has been interracially married for nearly a decade, I just need to say that Marie Wilde has accidentally internalized some rather racist beliefs, and it's just plain sad. I bet she wasn't like this in the '90s. Nobody cares if you have a Brazilian or straight hair. Most men just want a fit, healthy woman who can hold down a job and keep a budget. A gal wise enough to see the potential harms that can come from blind, endless compassion. A woman who sees people for the content of their character and not blindly lumpy Tinder dates by skin color.

And this from Nate:

I read Marie Wilde's article on dating men in Denver, and I just wanted to express how much I appreciated hearing that perspective. I'm a white guy who is very frustrated with dating here and have a hard time looking at the apps without feeling cognizant of being in a huge racial bubble, especially after George Floyd and BLM protests and stuff. Totally right about having to ask up-front questions like, "Trump? Masks?" I thought the monetary perspective was also extra interesting, and a great point! I feel bad that I fall prey to those bikini pictures myself. But, boy, after even just a couple different dates, all I want is someone weird and interesting; it's so hard to understand how people are so content being so samey!

And finally, that inspirational suggestion from Matt:

I am a straight white male in his thirties and I tried dating sites with a picture of myself fly-fishing. I get it. I had a strategy, though, to make dating fun that I highly recommend:

I never asked a woman for dinner/brewery/anything that is just repeating the same small talk, sitting at a table. I thought of things that I wanted to do and asked women if they wanted to join me. Because it was different than other guys, I went on about one-to-two dates a week: botanical gardens, an archery range, an escape room, whatever. Ninety-five percent of my dates were fun for both of us, even though most never led to a second. Eventually I met my now-fiancée, a foreign Ph.D. student with a completely different perspective on the world. She was almost going to quit the site before I asked, “Do you want to go stare at fish with a stranger?” We went to the aquarium for the afternoon and the rest is history.

And how! That's a picture of Matt with his fiancée above, at a pre-pandemic Red Rocks.

We're still collecting dating stories and suggestions. Have one you'd like to share? Post a comment, or email [email protected].